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Therapist’s Corner with Dr Jules for 13th November, 2017



These days there is such a pressure to be happy and think positive. We constantly feel we should stop being unhappy about our unhappiness, stop being anxious, stop being sad, stop feeling confused or worried. And yet these are all facets of the complexity of being human; it is precisely because we feel this full range of emotions that we are who we are. Can we possibly be happy all the time, is that realistic, or interesting?

How about if we didn’t avoid these challenging feelings, if we didn’t try to stuff them down or hide them under temporary attempts at happiness, such as buying those new shoes or having a few drinks? If you are sad or anxious or worried for a while, will you die of it? No!

Sometimes it is okay to turn and focus on the not great feelings and work them through. Understand that your observation of the world and your place in it is not the world, it is just your interpretation, and the feelings you are going through are being triggered by your interpretations, by your thoughts. And here is some good news: you can change your thoughts. Sometimes you can feel sad or anxious, but when you accept that it is your choice to engage in these feelings for a while, then you begin to shift yourself into a different position. You are no longer a ship that is being tossed around on a stormy sea, or a victim of circumstances, you are a person with choices. And that is the first step to empowerment and taking control of your life. Begin to think in a way that serves you and doesn’t keep you stuck. If you can’t do it by yourself, then seek help from friends, family, or a therapist until you get the momentum going.

I have been writing these Dr Jules articles for almost two years now, and it is my continuing pleasure to keep writing on topics that might be helping someone out there. I will be stepping back slightly with my contributions so that I can begin to focus more on a book I am writing, but I will still be here once a month. I will also be re-branding my articles here slightly as I understand that people are not always comfortable to send in questions about themselves, even if it is in confidence. So going forward I will be writing the Therapy Corner, and I invite you to ask for general topics you are interested in, such as anxiety, phobias, worry, depression, coping, bereavement, relationship issues, sex and sexuality … any topic that I as a therapist with over twenty years of experience can illuminate for you, please ask! And if you want to know more about what I do, and what I can offer or write about then please check out my website.

Dr Jules

If the subject matter in this article resonates with you, then counselling might be a good option to help you to move forward. I offer a free 20-minute consultation so we can explore how I might be able to help you.

I offer a free 20-minute consultation so we can explore how I might be able to help you. More details are available on my website which can be found through this link - http://www.englishinformerinfrance.com/business/Julie-Askew-PhD 

I am happy to answer your questions about the problems and struggles you are facing through this column. Please send your emails to: editor@englishinformerinfrance.com. No names are needed, but please clearly mark your email as ‘for Dr Jules’.



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